this is my journal

word.

Sat, 07 Apr 2007 17:05:37 GMT

WHOOPS i stole this, fun time waster!

You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
ONE.
Word.

(Not as easy as you might think.)

1. Where is your cell phone? table
2. Describe your boyfriend/girlfriend? imaginary
3. Your hair? bedhead
4. Your mother? janet
5. Your father? bob
6. Your favorite item? ipod
7. Your dream last night? wind
8. Your favorite drink? vodka
9. Your dream car? hybrid
10. The room you are in? bedroom
11. Your ex? everywhere haha
12. Your fear? lobsters
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? loved
14. Who did you hang out with last night? amanda
15. What you're not? man
19. The last thing you did? paper
20. What are you wearing? sweats
22. Your favorite book? tolstoy
23. The last thing you ate? cereal
24. Your life? overbooked
25. Your mood? stress
26. Your friends? perfect
27. What are you thinking about right now? papers
28. Your car? legs
29. What are you doing at the moment? breathing
30. Your summer? undecided!
31. Your relationship status? nun
32. What is on your tv? dust
33. When is the last time you laughed? today
34. Last time you cried? PMS
35. School? ending

two posts, one day!

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 00:43:51 GMT

this is way less serious than mr. last post...

but i just realized that i've grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle.

university also takes the guess work for meeting lots of fun people to...do haha. (i won't sugar coat it, catholic background upbringing be damned!) its great being single here. yeah i know, condoms aren't a get out of jail free card for promiscuity. but you meet so many people here, everywhere you go there are a lot of friends of friends of friends that are close enough so you can feel safe but they're distant enough that its not awkward.

i'm just thinking short term here, cause after this its another summer and possibly a fall in new glasgow. and there are very few options there. i've just gotten used to my lifestyle i guess haha. not that i hook up every weekend or anything... but there are always lots of options.

come to think of it, once i get to a non-new glasgow place again i think i'll be alright. you don't need a university to have that kind of fun, just a big network of friends and a city or a big school or something. i'm getting too old, i can already see myself growing out of that crap. one of these days i'll get a boyfriend you know.

pictou county hook-ups just give me the willies. its a combination of there being ABSOLUTELY NO ONE OF INTEREST there, and the terrifying thought that if you do find someone from there, you'll just end up living there forever.

cause we always have to go back there... the gossip grape vine is sickeningly rapid and almost always entirely inaccurate.

letting it out until i feel better.

Wed, 28 Mar 2007 23:58:18 GMT

i'm in a mood for... what follows haha. i'm warning you now, its a lengthy discussion on how much i hate goodbyes.

i've met some really wonderful people in the last few years, great people even, people i could rant to for hours and hours. but in my fourth year, the group of people i really love and really understand gets smaller and smaller. the closest ones move away and you hang onto that notion that you'll be together again, because any other future is just to hard to imagine. but then there are the ones that you make at school, the ones like people in the english program, people i always see when i go out, the crew of locals at an after party that just sit around with guitars and drums singing, smoking pot and sharing whats left of everyones liquor... the people from school that are great but you always feel like you don't see often enough, but you never had the chance to build that really close relationship.

i've got a million of these people that i just can't seem to fit in. my best friends, they know who they are, we've all gotten cemented together somehow. i know we'll always find miraculous ways to be near each other, because we crave that person who really understands. on a side note, i'm getting my "halifax best friends" fill on the 7th with some very special ladies, and it won't come soon enough (fun fun fun fun fun fun FUN FUN FUN). but it seems to be difficult enough to fit in even those soul-mate best friends.

i'm not really sure why i'm complaining, i'm incredibly fortunate just in that i have these people. i think i'm just coming to notice that there are people i've gotten close to and for whatever reason, i've completely stopped communicating with them. there are people who were near and dear to me that since i've stopped seeing them around so much... former co-workers, random friends, people that i used to hang out with all the time that graduated and i havent talked to them since. i think i just know that i've been here for four years, and through summers and jobs within the community, i've really gotten to like this place. yes, believe me, i need out, badly, nova scotia is a cage. i just know that there are a lot of people i'll never meet again, and i'll only remain close with a select few.

and korea... thats a BIG good-bye with no coming back for a year, no matter what. i'm so determined to be able to go that i really have no idea what it would take to make me quit. something huge. i'm sure i'll just continue my life-trend and get majorly attatched to seoul and the people there. bigger deal though, because i've got some really old people here that might die while i'm over there... its something i need to face, because i won't be able to come home and grieve with my family. i know i can't wait around though... korea is my next step.

i'm like a dirty four year old and korea will be my bathtub. i need a bath, and i know it. but i'll cry when i'm forced to get in, but i'll have so much fun splashing around that i won't want to get out.

i guess the point i'm trying to make is i want everyone i like to be around me all the time.

thats mature haha.
just hate goodbyes... and between graduation and moving to korea theres going to be a buttload of them soon. the easiest thing to do is to not think about it until i absolutely have to, theres no point in driving myself crazy, one thing at a time and all that. well i think i feel better now.

good rant. good stuff. load off. back to happy jill.

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 00:16:12 GMT

before i forget, this is a questionnaire that showed me where i stand on the political compass!

http://www.politicalcompass.org/questionnaire

I'M A LEFTY LIBERTARIAN.

like the dalai llama and ghandi! WOOOOOOOO! of course i could have told you that. its more for amusement than anything else

enjoy life!

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 20:11:45 GMT

here is..

here is a website that... oh god, i don't even know how to describe it. i'm peeing i'm laughing so hard

elton john is listed twice, meaning you must be.... really really gay?

http://www.lovegodsway.org/GayBands

well there you have it. a complete list of bands that will gay you up.

exams and kids on a rope? mmmhmm.

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 15:28:25 GMT

nailed my english women writers exam

now i just have to write a ten page take home exam in twenty four hours (a paper...with citations. about mexican comic books.)

then write another exam.

then write an 8 page take home exam in twenty four hours. about the holocaust.

then write another exam.

DONE ON THE THIRTEENTH... i'm so effin pumped to see everyone. three weeks won't be enough. batesy, did i hear you are bringing ontario people? which ontario people!? dan? please say dan. brian? please say brian. lady? please say lady. cause that would be REALLY great.

for those of you who know about kids-on-a-rope, they were singing how much is that doggy in the window as they walked by the pub today. could anything be better?

i think not. for those who don't know, kids-on-a-rope are groups of three and four year old children from day-cares who get their daily exercise by walking, tied to a rope, being led by several adults. there are generally about 20 of them... they parade through town, often walking through buildings on campus, singing, asking questions, pointing out landmarks, all twenty snow-suity, complete with mittens-on-strings.

Tue, 05 Dec 2006 17:02:03 GMT

*kicks wall*
*cries*
i hate exams and take home exams

i'm so excited to see everyone i could cry.

kathleen funke: "no one told me the sound of music was based on a real story! jill you should have told me!"
me: "um....i'm sorry...it never came up?"
kathleen funke: "I HAD TO LEARN IT FROM THE VIEW."

Tue, 05 Dec 2006 00:36:19 GMT

me have x-ring

posty pictures later!

educating the masses!

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 05:09:28 GMT

oh life is good

x-ring in 14 days. which is more like a panic because i have one 12 page paper, one 10 page paper, one 8 page paper and two 6 page papers due in that time span. the 12 page paper is due tomorrow at 10:15. i have.... 10 pages written. He'll get 11.5, after that he's going to know i'm full of shit.

so i think i'm gonna teach immigrant ladies how to read for a living... you know, teach them english, get them aquainted with pro-womany english literature. and maybe other types of adult education? i'm not sure but thats the field i like. thats what i think i would like to do. yes. OH educating the masses yes thats what i'll do. first i'm gonna go to korea to teach english as a second language... and learn korean. work my way up into teaching in universities. then i can teach at some school somewhere in canada (theres loads of korean immigrants around eh). theres not a whole lot of money in it.... but i can tutor privately on the side. SEXY PLAN ALERT! so thats the life plan for now. i like it cause i'll be able to travel around with it. if i wanna settle in the maritimes (in about a hundred years maybe) there are adult education positions around here... maybe not as many koreans. whats with me and koreans? took me awhile to figure it out but thats the best compromise of my love for reading and my love of women. just perfect i think. GO LOVE OF WOMEN AND READING!

haha, love of women. sounds lesbiany. got consent poster campaign begins... tomorrow. another attempt at educating the masses! i made many sexy posters for my women society people to put up. i have this funny feeling i'm going to forget about it though...

ok bye

love jill

Thu, 12 Oct 2006 18:43:08 GMT

oh i'm the worst president ever, i don't even want to go to my own meeting. mostly because its raining.

but mostly because i have a midterm tomorrow. but mostly because its raining. heeheehee. oh i'll go, but i won't be happy about it.

i need an umbrella!

i'm gonna go watch passions instead of studying. yeah thats right, i still watch passions.

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 13:55:24 GMT

its come to my attention that i cannot finish a large coffee from starbucks before it gets cold.

why do i keep buying them?

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 13:53:15 GMT

dear happy pills, you are only working HALF of the time. dear vagina, you are broken and suck. dear school, you are hard. dear women's society, i do not want to be president of you. dear all friends, i miss you. MISS you. sam i'm coming down next wednesday night! YES GO NEXT WEDNESDAY.

i am grumpy and cranky and tired and i am NOT going to fake it today.

sometimes i like to get emo in my live journals. i've been way into regular journal lately, like paper and pen style. now that i'm back at school though i'm just like i write all day, my hand hurts haha.

in the meantime i'm going to buy into this x-ring hype that seems to be going around these days. woooooah do i look like crap today!

k bye!

Tue, 12 Sep 2006 19:40:48 GMT

oh thank god, student loan gave me money this year so i'm not going to be broke like i usually am.

so i've got a job too, which i dont really need so badly anymore, but i might as well work eh?

made a new friend at the tall and small, he's a vegetarian, a friend of tiff's, he invited me to a dinner party on friday for vegetarians. so i suppose i should make something eh? perhaps a loaf. yeah i'll make a loaf. people like loafs.

love love lovely day! miss everyone <3

Sat, 02 Sep 2006 20:35:28 GMT

did i just post about the runs?

i do believe i did. i suppose i could take it back. but its just you guys.

love, jill

Sat, 02 Sep 2006 20:32:55 GMT

i would like very much not to have the runs anymore please.

please?

this has been my day:

cramp

cramp cramp cramp

cramp cramp

gurgle

EXPLOSION.

FUCKING CHRIST.

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 21:50:18 GMT

i just dropped $219 on clothes.

but i got like 291849023852 things!

sam let me use her 50% discount at smart set. i am now the most well dressed girl in town! but it was time for me to stop dressing like a student. even though i am a student. but i should look like a better one. i hope sam doesn't get fired for spending like $400 on clothes! but really why would she. and i never would have bought that much if i didnt get the discount on it. smart set should love me. maybe i shouldnt be posting this on the internet. but smart set doesnt have secret internet spies on sam. or do they?

sweetness.

YAY NEW CLOTHES!
ME + SAM = LOVE LONG TIME!

somethin' like a phenomenon baby somethin' like a phenomenon.

chanterella i'm coming to you. and i'm in the mood to sing. yeahyeahyeahs please.

Detox Day One

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 02:10:03 GMT

i've been feeling a little sluggish, bogged down and not my usual self. so i've decided to detox. yes friends, detox. i've attempted many detoxes before but i always give up after about 24 hours. a detox is when you eliminate all the nasty stuff in your body by way of diet. traditionally you cut out meat dairy and eggs first, but i'm one step ahead of that little game. no alcohol, oils, sugar, wheat or gluten traditionally. i'm just going to cut out gluten and sugar, because it is a 15 day detox. i'll probably drink at some point during this whole thing, which is completely pointless. I got a system from this wonderful fabulous vegan pregnant lady. she told me all about what cleanses are good, how often it is safe to do them, benifits from each one. then she gave me directions to this man's organic FARM where he sells all his cheap organic VEGGIES! and then i bought some seaweed soap.

health store in new glasgow=bomb. new pregnant lady friend=bomb.

sweet.

so day one of detox=good. feelin' good. i went for a run with dad tonight and i mopped the floor with him. he is a 54 year old overwieght man. but i havent run or gone to the gym since the day before my surgery about 3 weeks ago. i was supposed to wait a month but i ran tonight and so far i havent busted my vagina so no harm done i'm going back to the gym in the morning!

note to self, dont bust vagina.

vagina vagina vagina!

Thu, 03 Aug 2006 20:28:07 GMT

85 on my last paper! god DAMN i'm smart.

EVOLVE!

vagina update

Sat, 29 Jul 2006 15:06:23 GMT

dr. fouad called yesterday with the results of the biopsy, he said it wasn't cancer but it was close and i'm to come back every four months for a colpscopy (kind of like a PAP but to the next level). he was really nice, i like him a lot, he assured me that he would keep an eye on things. so i guess my fear of STD's has paid off. so not good news but also not bad news, i'll take it. i was kind of hoping he'd call and say it was nothing, i was even kind of hoping it would be an std. like a curable one. its kind of spooky, it hadn't even been a year since my last PAP. everyone go get a PAP!!!!!!

still not scared or upset really, theres not really any point to freaking out. the only thing that bothers me is the more i have that operation done the higher the risk of me not being able to have babies is. but whatever, i'll adopt. there are zillions of unwanted babies, right teresa?

chilled with sam, aaron and rick last night and saw aaron and ricks new house. i know people who have a house and a mortgage on the westside. thats insane. we talked about how pathetic it was we hadn't all hung out together all summer, but still its great to have friends that you can pick up with like you'd never left off at all. aaron and ricks house is fabulous, beautiful wood work, tonnes of windows, a SERVICE STAIRWAY, a closet big enough for me to sleep in, a closet with a toilet in it under the stairs. love love love.

love love.

today i think i'll shoe shop and buy a new dress. an $80 sundress perhaps. i've been a good little money saver this summer so whhhhhhy not.

love love love jill

raincoats

Sat, 22 Jul 2006 19:09:51 GMT

last night i took the night off school work and played with sam, we got caught in the rain in pursuit of coffee and as i am not allowed to run due to possibility of hemorage (who hemorages, really) we sort of glide walked briskly but i parked in what turned into a RIVER and soaked my flip flops, cause i wear flip flops and no jacket in a rainstorm, i was under the impression that a sever rain warning didn't apply to me beause i had the car. we then a.d.d.'d our way around zellars, i bought a water jug with a handle which i am using right now and has turned out to be much easier than walking upstairs every 10 seconds to fill my water glass. then we went to the mall and found $10 raincoats which were GREAT and said 'no bags please' and wore them right out of walmart. (yes, i supported walmart, i'm a huge hypocrit, but it was apparently the only place in town we could find raincoats under $40). and we went to shoppers and i blew money on make up. raincoats are so crucial yet i never seem to have one. oh and we rented failure to launch, it was cute.

I'm coming up to visit Antigonish this week in celebration of my last exam being on monday!

YAY!

Matthew
-who is needs boy?
-email me your phone number at brents along with info such as a good time to call you, times you are not working, when might be good to hang out etc. etc. etc.
Chantelle
-i know how to find you (feed store, justins, stoned in a cemetery, by way of cell phone etc. etc. etc.)
Jenny
-i'll assume i can find you in the places i normally do (subway, 106 braemore, with chantelle and matt etc. etc. etc.)

if sam goes to halifax on the weekend i'll come up for a night and perhaps there can be drinking! but i should save money for evolving.
also, who is evolving this year? i'm losing my evolve-ginity and i want it to be spectacular.

okay time to study again

vagina surgery

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 01:26:52 GMT

today i had vagina surgery! yay!

i had an abnormal pap awhile ago and on monday i went to see a specialist about it and he said i had precancerous cell changes on my cervix and it was no big deal, and then he said you go for blood work tomorrow and i'll take that part of your cervix out on wednesday.

so i'm minus a small part of my cervix but really i can't notice it, i was supposed to go home with a catheter (pee bag) but i didn't really bleed so i didn't need it. good job vagina!

i feel great now, still kind of grogy, a bit like i got punched in the chach. they told me to take a week off work but i can't see why so i'm going back on friday.

mmmm sleep again. go drugs!

go vagina!

new job on tueeeesday

Sat, 24 Jun 2006 17:09:53 GMT

i should really update this more...

so i start at the police office on tuesday, which should be fun after my final exam for victorian lit in antigonish on monday night. i'm going to be crazy drained. i almost passed in an assignment full of mistakes and mis-cited quotes, it could have been an automatic fail. i noticed the mistakes during class when i was flipping through it and told my prof that i was having an editing crisis and he said he'd much rather have my best work and i could just email it to him. nemesvari is so cool, he took the whole class out to pat's and bought a couple of rounds of beer. i couldn't go because i had a drive home right after class that i couldn't miss. how many opportunities do you get to drink with your prof? oh well. life goes on lalala.

kathleen came home from camp. we don't talk about it. there were no walls in her camp, she woke up with a squirrel in her bed, and was instructed to wash her clothes in the lake. she's a very indoor person. we don't talk about it haha. she found a job here by some miracle, at the military museum. so she only really missed a week of working in the summer. her flight was expensive, and the trains. and she got into a car accident a few days after she got back. she's having a shitty week, but she's dealing well.

my new job is going to be different than the one i had there two years ago. i'm going to be preparing court documents for the officers, everything from speeding tickets to d.w.i's to break and enters. so essentially i'm going to know everyone's business in new glasgow. like i don't already. i have to keep it a secret though. all of it. they said its going to be really stressful, like if i make a mistake and someone at court swears to it the whole case will get thrown out. and i guess all the cops like to do things at the last minute so i have to learn how to put cops in their place. they'll be nice to me though, i hope.

i think i can handle it, through waitressing and bartending i've been yelled at by angry dads (one of them seconds after spraining my pinky so i had tears in my eyes), canadian tourists, american tourists, travelling senior citizen tour guides, angry bitches, the antigonish social elite (i doubled over laughing afterwards in the kitchen), not too mention my boss, and the french acadian cooks who ALL needed anger management, and one very grumpy elderly cook who only stopped yelling at me when she realized we were related. i've also been yelled at by drunks, both over and under the age of 19 for various reasons. and i've had a few people's girlfriends pretty pissed at me. about a year ago i just stopped taking it personally if it was work related. the cooks would call the waitresses every name in the book, we'd still enjoy stolen sundaes together at the end of a rough shift.

cops though, cops? can i handle being yelled at by cops? i mean they've gotten frustrated with me about socks and stuff but they've never gotten angry. all of those other people have yelled at me and sometimes i yell back, or apologize if i have the yelling coming. or i'd just let a bouncer take care of it. cops won't yell at me. no... they won't. yeah they will. i think i've got the chief to back me up though. and my boss carole, she doesn't yell, she's a mom. she'll get disapointed though.

but cops, they're like, professional yellers. being angry and asserting authority is their job.

and this job is going to pay well enough for me to give a damn.

i'm going to need new office clothes. YAY SHOPPING!

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 14:00:47 GMT

i have 4 hi-liters that say "HILE HITLER"

you can't use those in class

Thu, 15 Jun 2006 14:27:14 GMT

Kathleen (sister) left for upstate New York today. She’s going to be a councilor at some kind of healthy food eating camp run by hippies. I've asked her about 23423984 times if its a fat camp. She's said no so many times that I've started asking her just to bug her. Its something I have been doing my entire life, pushing my red-haired temper-to-match little sister into any extreme reaction I can get, whether it be extreme hysterical laughter, or frustrated tears. Either way, both of our parents still have to sit between us when we go to church. Back to my insensitive moment of the week: she said she's seen pictures of the kids that go to the camp and they didn’t look overweight. She said there was the odd portly child, but in this day an age, come on, theres bound to be a few. So, I said are you sure these aren't just result photos? Were there any photos of the kids on their first day? Kathleen put me in my place and asked if it were a fat camp, would you have a problem with that? And I said no. And she said Jill, you understand that it is cruel to make fun of fat-camps? To call them fat-camps in general is incredibly insensitive? To which I said:

Have fun at fat camp!

Thu, 15 Jun 2006 14:17:16 GMT

Kathleen F: Have fun at fat camp!

Everyone else:

http://www.myspace.com/davidford

go, listen to "State of the Union"

then try to find ANY of his stuff and download it and send it to me. jillianmelissa@hotmail.com

have a loverly day all of you.